Category News-ish

Real headlines, unreal twists. News-ish is your satirical dispatch center for stories that sound almost credible—until they don’t. From cosmic cruise ships to relationship tech support, we parody the news you didn’t know needed parodying.

31/Atlas: Alien Teen’s Science Project Causes Interstellar Commotion

🚀 When Teen Hormones Meet Interstellar Physics Zorblat just wanted to impress Glorbnella. Instead, his glitter-covered comet stunt triggered Earth-wide panic, Harvard speculation, and a galactic PR disaster. What began as a science fair flex turned into a 130,000-mph cosmic oopsie—complete with blinding braces, anti-glare regrets, and one very confused solar system. Turns out, not every alien probe is hostile. Sometimes it’s just a teenager trying to get a date.

The Oldest Black Hole in the Universe: A Cosmic Senior Citizen

In a universe where age is just a number (unless you're a black hole), Grandpa Void has emerged as the oldest-known cosmic entity—grumbling at galaxies, devouring matter, and committing fashion crimes in galaxy-print spandex. With Dr. Imaginarius launching a candle Kickstarter and issuing a stern style intervention, this parody dives into the gravitational drama of a celestial senior citizen who refuses to act his age.

The 36-Mile-Long Cigar-Shaped Starship: A Pipe Dream for the Ages

In a groundbreaking announcement that has left the world chuckling, scientists have unveiled plans for a 36-mile-long cigar-shaped starship. Dubbed The Galactic Stogie, it promises zero-gravity jacuzzis, a space casino, and a propulsion system powered by wishful thinking. Will it fly? Probably not. But it’s a great way to get people to invest in their Kickstarter—and a better way to appreciate the phrase “pipe dream.”

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The 36-Mile-Long Cigar-Shaped Starship: A Pipe Dream for the Ages
The Oldest Black Hole in the Universe: A Cosmic Senior Citizen